There are many astute real estate professionals who articulate their ideas extremely well. But when it comes to understanding how people feel, they are dumbfounded. Interestingly, those who are admired for their greatest strategic ideas make their final decisions based on how they feel, not how they think.

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Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.

Getting a better read on others will help you build better connections and close more deals. Here’s how:

1. Develop your own level of self-awareness:

In order to read the feelings of others, become aware of your own. How do you behave when curious, interested, overwhelmed or fearful? Now take notice of how others do the same. We are really not that far apart in our actions and behaviours. Look closer.

2. Pay attention to others’ behaviour:

During client interactions, is your prospect facing you, mirroring you and engaged? Or do they appear distracted, and avoid eye contact? Interested buyers show consistent behaviours. They are engaged in conversation. They feel happy. They act happy. They sound happy over the phone. Again, pay attention to feelings, not thoughts. Our culture has taught us to do the opposite when making decisions. Untrain your brain.

3. Notice your own stressors and be empathetic:

Today lasting business relationships involve investing in others. When making sales calls, even though it’s a “numbers game” out there, display a more personable approach. Match and mirror what customers want. Be empathetic. Take the time to read their feelings. This includes feeling stressed, confused and under pressure. How do you act when you feel these ways? Not much different for others.

The biggest cue for understanding others is you. Trust your gut.

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